Freaky Deaky Phone Sex Blogs

Sadly, and inexplicably, my cum problem continues!!  I’ve managed to figure out how to get myself off, but it’s only after completing something extremely kinky and high risk.  I knew this would happen… like any addict, you start to need a bigger and bigger high until it finally kills you!

That’s right folks… I’ve entered the dangerous world of autoerotic asphyxiation.  DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS!!  I shouldn’t even be doing it, since I’m no professional.  But I was so desperate with not being able to get off that I had to do something.  I noticed one day while jerking off furiously that i was getting closer and closer and as I got closer I was holding my breath altogether.  When I finally did squeeze out a few drops of cum, I exhaled with this headspinning gasp for air that nearly made me pass out.  It was… INTENSE.   The next day I had to see if it could happen again.  But holding my breath while i jerked off wasn’t doing it.  It was like too much  having to hold my breath in and concentrate on making that cum spark grow and grow and grow.  Suddenly I remembered the hottest times I’d had was when the guy I was with was choking me a little while he fucked me.  I thought it was the violence and helplessness of it that made it so hot, but in retrospect I realize it was not being able to breathe that had made the orgasm so hot!

So I did what no one should ever do.  I got one of my silk winter scarves… a hot pink one (my fave color if you haven’t guessed)… tied it snugly around my neck…   and held the end of the scarf in one hand while I pulled my pud with the other.  IT was a bit uncomfortable at first, but as the sensation grew and grew, I pulled on the scarf tighter and tighter… making it harder and harder to breathe….. sure enough that was doing the trick…. by the time I popped one off I was turning quite blue in the face. But oh MAN what a rush.   Literally… I stood up, drenched in my sweat and cum and immediately fell back down on the bed.  I couldn’t walk for a good half hour.   I am totally playing with fire… but man.. oh man.. I hope I don’t get carried away.  I’ve only done it two more times since then… I need to quit it before I get in some real trouble.  NO sense in going out like David Carradine, right?  I always thought he was hot, by the way.. total kinkmaster top daddy type.  He could have showed me a few things…. but I’m in no hurry to meet him any time soon, if you know what I mean.  Why oh why must I be a sex addict?  Why can’t I have easy little orgasms like the other girls. *sniff sniff*  boo hoo hoo….  I’m soooo horny woe is me lol

SHERRY CHERRY 1 888 434 1588

http://freakydeakyphonesex.com/sherry.html

In the spirit of Christmas, I’m going to do something I rarely do … I’m going to give you an insight into my therapy methods, and relay a story I feel might intrigue a few of you.

One of my clients that I was counselling had a strong curiosity for anal sex, but his upbringing had him so ashamed of it that anytime he tried having anal sex as the recipient (the receiver, or “bottom”), he shied away into a ball and started quivering.

My approach to this problem was to give him an escape, a way he could enjoy it without having to feel the guilt dumped on him by his past.  I had him dress up in a robot costume (yes, this happened to be around Halloween) while I had dressed up in a maintenance over-alls suit, and we did a bit of roleplay.  I pretended that his model of robot had to have an annual inspection, and I proceeded to poke and prod him in completely innocent spots … his underarms, kneecaps, top-of-the-head, fingers and palms.  The whole time I was doing this I had a constant repertoire of exactly why each part had to be checked thoroughly, so when I arrived at his rear entrance and my tirade of verbage didn’t change, he was relaxed, feeling this was more of the game as I opened the rear compartment and prepared my next few prods.  I unzipped my suit all the way down to the crotch, and in my monologue made mention of the lack of lubricant his model inherently displayed, to explain away why I had opened up the bottle of lube.  After properly lubing up my prod, I poked my lubed fingers around close to his anus.  Finally, I pressed, then pushed my dipstick as far as I could into his reserve tank, holding him gently yet firmly for support.

As I worked the dipstick, lubricating the opening, I kept a constant flow of banter to continue the story getting his mind off what was really happening.  In no time at all I haad him shoving his ass back against my cock begging me to fuck him harder.  I reached around and fiddled with his joystick, but that only seemed to excite him further.  Finally, after clutching his joystick and grabbing firmly on his twin gyros, I released a full load of lubricant deep inside his inner mechanisms … but to no avail, as his manual control started spewing lubricant out its tip as well. 

Being the good mechanic that I was, I rushed around and clasped my lips around this breach of integrity in order to stave off the flow, but this only seemed to make matters worse as the robot unit became unstable, and wobbled dangerously for a bit as it shot even more fluids wildly.

Once we had calmed down, this Robbie the Robot client saw the advantages of roleplay, and started feeling much more free in his daily relationships with or without the use of costumes to hide behind.

1-888-251-1537, ask for Dr Ian

http://freakydeakyphonesex.com/drian.html

Sorry, fans, that I haven’t blogged for awhile.  I’ve been in the hospital for a short stay.  Speaking of which … a word of advice … If you plan on sticking your dick in the stuffed turkey at Thanksgiving, make sure it’s cooled down aLOT before you do … it may FEEL cool enough on the outside, but that center is still plenty hot, believe me!

So, anyway, to my blog:

I went over to Aunt Sally’s for Thanksgiving dinner, and Aunt Sally is pretty good looking.  Hanging around the house while everything was getting prepared, playing with my cousins, watching football with my Uncle Joe … all the usual stuff, but my dick started its itching … it was telling me it wanted to get a nut, and the sooner the better. 

I wandered into the kitchen trying to keep my mind off things, and Aunt Sally said she had to run upstairs to change before some more guests arrived, so I had the kitchen all to myself.  I noticed the turkey cooling off over on the roller tray and thought to myself “it would be so cool if I could add some special sauce to that stuffing … just watching everyone eating it would get me off again.”  I whipped out my dick and stroked it a couple times so it was good and hard and ready to blow, then I picked up the turkey (it didn’t feel all that hot while holding it like this) and plunged my pecker up that turkey’s ass, all the way into the stuffing, up to the hilt.  I remember screaming and dropping the turkey before I passed out.

I woke up in the hospital with enough gauze and bandages on my dick to add 4 extra inces to its length.  How embarrasing.  I just knew that Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe could figure out what I had been doing, and the way the nurses whispered around me, I figured everyone at the hospital was fully briefed on my injury.

The best part of the stay came on the second day when the male nurse, Cliff, came in to change my bandages.  He took special care as he rubbed on the burn lotion, and I could feel my dick standing up to salute his attentions.  I found myself saying stuff like “rub it on good, Cliff” and “Oh, I think that area needs more”, and next thing Cliff knew, he was getting my load that had been intended for the turkey.  Thank goodness that still worked.  Being the good nurse Cliff was, and considering his hands were messy from the lotion, he bent over and started licking my load off my belly.  After that, I didn’t mind my hospital stay too much (as long as I stayed away from the jello).

Jesse

1.888.559.9971

http://freakydeakyphonesex.com/jesse.html

A horrible thing has happened!  I’m unable to have an orgasm!!!   I don’t know what happened to me… one day I was shooting loads left and right.. and the next… well like last night I’m with the boyfriend and I’m hard as a rock and feeling GOOOOOD and he is working his magic tongue on me.  So he goes down on my fishstick and does his usual that makes me explode.  Fingered my asshole at the same time and everything.  So the tension is building and building and building.. and I get right up to the edge and then… NOTHING. 

Nada. Zip. Zero!  I’m going insane!!  And my boyfriend is too….  He gave himself lockjaw trying to make me get off last night….  he must have slobbed my knob for two hours and NOTHING… i got so close but… UNGH.   Finally he got mad and flipped me over on my face and pounded my asshole raw til I bled. I guess he really was upset  becuz I haven’t heard from him since.  He’s not much of a giver in bed, but he loves to get me off orally.  Just goes to show  you think you know somebody!   You think they care and want to please you and go the extra mile to make you happy…  but all they care about is that you dump your load down their greedy little throats!  

Oh well.  I’m sure it will work itself out.  But what if something IS wrong with me?  What if I’m cursed and I never get to cum again?  Is there some sort of cum doctor I can go too?  Even tho he’s kind of a hunk, I don’t think my family physician wants to hear about this particular problem.  Then again, maybe he would…. I’d be more than willing to give him a demonstration of the trouble I’m having.  Maybe I’d better call his office and make an appointment for this week!!  If it doesn’t clear up on its own by then… then I’ll need a professional to help me get to the “bottom” of all this sudden orgasm denial!!  Hrmph!

SHERRY CHERRY 1 888 434 1588

http://freakydeakyphonesex.com/sherry.html

I’m so glad I turned my residence into a kind of a halfway house for alternative lifestyles.  Some people’s parents just can’t cope with their children ‘choosing’ a different path, and my house provides a relaxed atmosphere where everyone is accepting of each others’ lifestyles.  The benefits I get are enormous - A couple of the girls just love answering the phone so I’m not drawn away mid-session, and I have a client base that never misses an appointment.  

My sessions are always relaxed in nature.  Take Tom, for instance … Tom is a very aggressive homosexual whose sexual attitude is very flippant.  Recently, I was able to observe him interacting with Paul, who is a bisexual male new to expressing his homosexual side.  Paul acts very coy and timid, which only pushes Tom farther, to the point that Paul starts controlling the relationship with Tom following him around like a puppy.  During one session with Paul, Paul had allowed Tom to join the session, but only if Tom stayed quiet.  Tom quickly found a way to stay quiet … he pulled out Paul’s cock while we were talking, and started sucking Paul’s cock. Paul never even missed a beat, just kept right on talking like nothing was happening.  I sat there in awe, watching Tom give the blowjob of a lifetime just trying to distract Paul.  Paul didn’t give him the pleasure until there was only about 3 minutes left to the end of the session, at which time Paul focused on Tom, breathing heavy and writhing in his seat until he finally released right into Tom’s mouth.  Tom grinned, feeling very proud of himself.  Paul just winked at me as he closed up his pants and stood to leave.

I wonder if Paul will accompany Tom to Tom’s therapy session tomorrow.  I wonder if I should open up a group therapy session … that could be real fun.

1-888-251-1537, ask for Dr Ian

http://freakydeakyphonesex.com/drian.html